Amor y Traicion y Fortaleza

I see my project divided in two parts.
The first is more about amor y traicion. I attempted to materialize the senses of amor y traicion.

I know that the heart is just a pump, making sure that blood is MOVING through our body, and in doing so, making sure that we keep MOVING. And yet, when our heart is broken, isn't that where you feel it. You feel it being stretched, tugged, in tension. Maybe its the invisible strings connecting you and that person, the ones that were once filled with joy. As the person becomes distant from you, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, you feel that tug, that pull. You feel them disappearing into the world without you. Without you. I can no longer reach out to touch, there's so much distance.

The overexposed film that is never to reveal the intended images, the intended moments. Me voy a rajar... its the pictures we took two days before you decided I wasn't enough, the sweet betrayal, the end. I don't know what to call it. What would I see on our faces if I hadn't accidentally ripped and ruined the film as I was taking it out....What would I see. It haunts me and yet part of me is grateful that it happened, that I don't have those images to come to again and again as I rerun the memories frantically through my head. So I don't feel the invisible strings pulling at my heart. It still feels so raw...the image from my last post referenced this one...

El dia estaba tan bello y tan claro sin nubes. Te lleve a mis lugares mas sagrados...

Cuantas cosas quedaron prendidas 
hasta dentro del fondo de mi alma 
cuantas luces dejaste encendidas
yo no se como voy a apagarlas 

I decided to stay with Toni's original words because they rang so true. Part of it is because of recent events in my personal life, but the other part comes from the universal experience of loving. I once read the moment in which one feels in love is forever plagued by a shadow of knowing that it will end or change...traicion que se manifestia en la distancia entre la realidad y lo que esperabamos...

Now we come to the second part. And then there's the growth that comes afterwards although it might not be so obvious. LA FORTALEZA. THE EMPOWERMENT.


The member is structurally in failure, yet it can still support itself. We are more resilient then we give ourselves credit for. Octavio Paz talked about the FIESTA and its cleansing powers. I'm not completely sold on it. Growing up, it was this kind of experience that my parents protected me from and when I grew up they taught me that a temporary party solved nothing, The noise is not enough. I've fallen into the trap of the quest for noise before...

So instead of looking for noise, I look for quiet. I am whole, I am true to myself and that is where my empowerment, mi fortaleza comes from. It's a quiet happiness. And it makes all the difference...